kids
Jonas’ Journey | Septic

Jonas sounded as if he had eaten a squeaky dog toy. With every exhale he moaned and squeaked. It was cute for the first five minutes, then it was annoying. After several hours I was concerned, but the nurses kept sweeping it under the table saying he’s just tired and it’s completely normal. He also hadn’t nursed since he was birthed 12 hours ago. I mean really how tired could Jonas be? All he’s done since he came out is sleep! The truth is they didn’t know why, and in this country if you don’t know something, you fake it like you do. We eventually had a little “chat” with our nurse. She called a pediatrician to come in and evaluate him. (more…)
Can I Get A Surgeon?

Elijah: “I can’t find the Scarry Kitty Cat book to read for my nap”
Bruce: “Oh, I think that book is out for surgery, you’ll have to pick another one, sorry bubba.”
Fit ensues.
Bruce: “It’s ok buddy, we’ve read it so many times.” I want to gouge my eyes out every time I see you pull it off the bookshelf. (more…)
The Opposable Digit
I noticed a thumb shoved in his mouth out of the corner of my eye. I was hoping that Jonas wouldn’t have to suck on anything. Elijah was a paci baby and it was a nightmare breaking his addiction. I won’t allow my kids to be thumb suckers! My twin brother and I sucked our thumbs and we didn’t kick the habit until we were five. I didn’t want the same misfortune for my children. I decided to give Jonas a paci.
Babies have a strong…
Sink or Win

I rounded the corner into the kitchen. The sink overflowed with dishes, but how? Didn’t I just wash the dishes this afternoon? What enables the sink to multiply offspring faster than a bunny? Is it my strange inability to reuse the same cup I was just drinking from? Seriously, how hard is it? Instead of reaching into the cupboard and pulling out a new cup, I need to go find the one I left on top of the bookshelf or on the bedside table. Why do I never do it? (more)
Stand Up Comedy

Aw man! How did I get here? Wasn’t I sleeping? This is the third time this week I’ve woken up standing in my crib and it’s only Monday. I don’t even know how to get down. This is ridiculous.
“WAAAAAA”
Oh wait, I think I hear someone. No don’t turn around because I stopped crying! I’m just trying to listen out for you. Sounds like Mommy went back to bed. I’d better try again.
Preparing for Parenthood

I came home on a Tuesday around 6 o’clock as usual, asked my wife the usual question “what did you do today” and received a response that was anything but the usual. “Oh I sat around trying to figure out if I’m pregnant”.
“What? Are you serious. Did I hear that right, what exactly does that mean anyways?”
It means it had been six weeks since her last cycle and neither her nor I had really noticed up until that day. If you would have asked me a month before when I wanted to have a baby I would have told you in a few years. I had no..
Elijah’s First Day of School

Elijah started his first day of school last Wednesday. We talked it up every chance we could. “It will be so much fun, you’ll get to play with lots of new toys.” The hype was working. Elijah couldn’t wait to start. We were afraid there would be separation anxiety issues, but he was so enamored by all the new toys it was more “Mom and Dad who?” Unfortunately we failed to mention that it wasn’t always fun and games. He had a meltdown when the teacher tried to move him from the play room to the classroom. It was short lived though and every morning he asks “Can I go to school?” Score one for the parents!
Jonas’ Journey | Man Down

I was huddled in the corner. I looked down at my feet. I couldn’t take it, my wife was spewing out the most awful screams I had ever heard, and I couldn’t handle thinking of her in that much pain. I started to feel faint.
“Are you ok?” the doctor asked in her funny accent.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine, I just need to sit a minute.”
Jonas’ Journey | Screamer

We settled ourselves in the birthing room. The doctor came in to check on Morgan, she was 3cm. Only 1cm more than she had been all month. We were somewhat disappointed. We had hoped Morgan would be further along. It looked as though it might be a long labor.
Not if our doctor could help it.
Morgan had decided she was going natural.
