Jonas
Jonas’ Journey | Septic
Jonas sounded as if he had eaten a squeaky dog toy. With every exhale he moaned and squeaked. It was cute for the first five minutes, then it was annoying. After several hours I was concerned, but the nurses kept sweeping it under the table saying he’s just tired and it’s completely normal. He also hadn’t nursed since he was birthed 12 hours ago. I mean really how tired could Jonas be? All he’s done since he came out is sleep! The truth is they didn’t know why, and in this country if you don’t know something, you fake it like you do. We eventually had a little “chat” with our nurse. She called a pediatrician to come in and evaluate him. (more…)
The Opposable Digit
I noticed a thumb shoved in his mouth out of the corner of my eye. I was hoping that Jonas wouldn’t have to suck on anything. Elijah was a paci baby and it was a nightmare breaking his addiction. I won’t allow my kids to be thumb suckers! My twin brother and I sucked our thumbs and we didn’t kick the habit until we were five. I didn’t want the same misfortune for my children. I decided to give Jonas a paci.
Babies have a strong…
Stand Up Comedy
Aw man! How did I get here? Wasn’t I sleeping? This is the third time this week I’ve woken up standing in my crib and it’s only Monday. I don’t even know how to get down. This is ridiculous.
“WAAAAAA”
Oh wait, I think I hear someone. No don’t turn around because I stopped crying! I’m just trying to listen out for you. Sounds like Mommy went back to bed. I’d better try again.
Jonas’ Journey | Man Down
I was huddled in the corner. I looked down at my feet. I couldn’t take it, my wife was spewing out the most awful screams I had ever heard, and I couldn’t handle thinking of her in that much pain. I started to feel faint.
“Are you ok?” the doctor asked in her funny accent.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine, I just need to sit a minute.”
Jonas’ Journey | Screamer
We settled ourselves in the birthing room. The doctor came in to check on Morgan, she was 3cm. Only 1cm more than she had been all month. We were somewhat disappointed. We had hoped Morgan would be further along. It looked as though it might be a long labor.
Not if our doctor could help it.
Morgan had decided she was going natural.
Jonas’ Journey | It’s Go Time
It’s early in the morning, 4:00 am, my wife likes to make sure our last free night before a new baby is one of little sleep. Her contractions are 4 minutes apart and are getting stronger.
“I think it’s time to call Jer.” My wife says calmly. Jeremy is our ride to the hospital. Wait, he’s more than that, he’s our translator, a big comfort in a our upcoming time of need,
Jonas’ Journey | Not So Easy Jet
“You’re pregnant?” The steward franticly asked when he finally noticed my wifes belly.
Even though they rip you off on baggage these days we weren’t trying to smuggle an extra carry-on bag. The workers of EasyJet somehow managed to miss my wife’s bump until we were on the plane. The steward seemed in a panic, but he hastily had my wife sign some sort of waiver and was put to ease.
Jonas’ Journey | Sorry Gotta Go!
My wife was only able to eat the African equivalent of Animal Crackers for the first three months. This came as no surprise because she had the same problem with Elijah. It’s pretty unfortunate. Outside of her losing her lunch, and dinner for that matter, it had other perks. I had to cook my meals with the kitchen door closed then go eat them out on the balcony alone. The smell caused an unwanted reaction from Morgan. I also had the privilege of cleaning up the “reaction”, but I was still in a better position than her.
Jonas’ Journey | You’re Having Your Child Where?
As Morgan went to take her umpteenth pregnancy test, I was secretly hoping for positive results. Sure the whole Christmas shaft was a drag, but how can you not get excited? I still refused to show any emotion. My wife was just a little loony and addicted to urinating on a stick. I couldn’t join in the insanity by hopping on the crazy train. This time Morgan’s intuition was right. There were two lines. I was tickled. We immediately jumped on the Internet to calculate the due date.
Jonas’ Journey | How It All Began
My wife and I sat down for the discussion about kid number two. We came to the conclusion that we were ready, but wanted to wait until the following month to start trying. If we dived in right away we would have a December baby. You see I had already vowed to never have December babies because I was fully aware they would receive the Christmas shaft. I could just picture their friends saying:
