This is a guest post by Nicholas Z. Cardot author of Site Sketch 101 where he expresses his passion for helping bloggers and webmasters connect with real people through brilliant designs, unique content, and genuine creativity. If you’re serious about increasing traffic to your blog I give Site Sketch 101 two enthusiastic thumbs up.
As a soldier in the United States Army, I don’t always get to spend as much time with my wife and daughter as I would really like to. I’m sure that many of you deal with the same struggles.
Life demands our time and focus. There’s no way to get around that. Your job, your need for sleep, your church, emergencies, and your family all compete for your time. In fact for most people, there are other areas that I failed to mention that need your time.
I spent two weeks in September where I was only home once for 14 hours. That’s not fair to my wife, my daughter, or myself. But that’s life. And we all face that sometimes.
So what’s the key to building a happy home life when you just can’t be there as much as you would like? When you can’t provide the quantity of time for your family that they deserve then you had better provide the quality of time that they deserve.
In other words, if your time with your family is being stretched thin then you had better go out of your way to make every last minute with them really count. Here’s a few tips that I’ve found help make my time with my family valuable and meaningful.
1. Don’t Spend Time Fighting: A lot of times when your away for a while, your spouse has to deal with a lot of problems and issues on their own. This can be frustrating for them and often times they will express that frustration with you. Don’t allow that to get you down.
Take the blame for any wrong onto yourself…even if it isn’t your fault. Apologize and express how sorry you are for the situations that they’ve been dealing with. Be patient. Don’t allow your spouse’s frustration level to frustrate you.
You have the power to calm and care for your spouse. Reassure them with love and patience and help them. If you have to make every minute count then don’t waste time bickering. Be the stronger person by accepting the responsibility to calm the situation.
2. Focus On Your Family: We certainly live in an era of distractions. We can be distracted by text messaging, emails, phone calls and many other things. When you’re with your family, tell your buddies or your girlfriends not to call. Who cares if that sounds rude. Family first, my friends.
If I’m having some special time with my wife, I’ll tell my best friend to leave me alone. He does the same to me. If your friends can’t respect your value of your family then there’s something wrong.
3. Express Your Love: Guys tend to fail at this one the most but being a guy is no excuse. This is probably the most important one on this list. You will fail miserably if your family is not convinced that you love them unconditionally. Don’t be afraid to say it out loud.
You don’t have to make it weird or cheesy, but you do have to express it. Make sure that they understand that you care about them. And don’t shout anything like this, “Why do you think I work 80 hours a week! It’s so I can provide for you ungrateful people!” That tactic is ineffective. I’m sure you can see why…and yet I hear people say things like that all the time. Don’t do it.
Group Discussion:
These are only three tactics that can used to massively increase the value of the time that you spend with your family. Can you think of some others?
Have you had to spend less time with your family than you would have liked to? Tell us about your situation and what you did to connect with your family during that time?
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I have had in the past had to spend less and less time with my family due to work commitments such as having to work late becasue a report had to be in for a certain dead line or a meeting has unexpectedly run over late and had to be resecduled for the following morning. I now priotise my time for the family rather than work. Now don’t get me wrong, I know work is a means to an end and it is a way of meeting your obligations in regards to the family but I so agree with number 2. “Focus On Your Family”. I see focusing on the family as an opportune time to be creative, to have fun and to discover new ways in developing quality time for the family. Here are some fun ways that I go about trying to create great quality time for the family.
1) I’ll take the phone off the hook. Quality time with this method is limitless.
2) I ask myself as I’m leaving the office “Is this report that I am going to bring home to do on the weekend life and death ? I think not. I then make plans to take the family to the beach, weather permitting for the weekend. The buzz everyone gets from packing the car Including the children is awesome!!!… When the weekend is over I then come back home with my batteries recharged ready to face that report.
3) Going to the movies is great but if it is just me and my wife then we always book a late showing.
These are just a few of my methods I use for finding quality time with the family.
P.S. Great post and a great reminder. Got me thinking outside of the box again. Thanks.
David ´s last blog ..Inspired By A Great Blog
You’re right David. Work shouldn’t be more important than family. Nobody ever said on their death bed “I wish I spent more time at the office”. I imagine your family was better off for it, and your report still got finished.
Thanks Dave. Sometimes it really is good to think outside the box and also to really assess the quality of time that we are sharing with those we love. I don’t think that we will ever look back and regret the time that we spend loving on our families.
Nicholas Z. Cardot´s last blog ..The Ballad of My Kidnapped Website
Yes Bruce my family were better off for it and my report still got finished.
David´s last blog ..Inspired By A Great Blog
Great tips! Thanks for sharing!
I agree with Kasey, thanks for the post Nick.
You all are welcome. Thanks for the great feedback and support. I hope that something in the post will help you to make your time with your family more meaningful and more enjoyable.
Nicholas Z. Cardot´s last blog ..The Ballad of My Kidnapped Website
These are some excellent tips. Nick is excellent at putting these into practice on a daily basis.
I’m definitely better at giving my advice than following my advice. Glad to see Nick’s wife endorses his. I think mine would probably throw me under the bus. In a humorous sort of way, but.. it’d still be true.
That’s really funny how you put that. LOL.
Nicholas Z. Cardot´s last blog ..The Ballad of My Kidnapped Website